Bits and bobs in Monsoon season

After being spoiled by the incredibly dry Scottish Spring, drought has given way to a sucker punch of a Summer deluge that has scuppered many of my Summer climbing aspirations. "That'll teach ye!"- cackles the cruel mistress of Scottish conditions.

Fortunately, indoor climbing walls mean that training can be done regardless of what it's like outside. I'm one of the hordes who flock to Ibrox in the evenings, on a mission to get stronger. I'm a wee bit ashamed to admit that it's been dry on some of these nights (after rain during the day)- but I've chosen to go for the indoor option instead of making the effort to squeeze in a couple of trad routes before sunset. Back in the 1990's Ibrox was virtually deserted on any dry Summer evening. Now it's the real crags that are less busy- and some are becoming overgrown due to lack of traffic. Changed days, and I'm as guilty as anyone.

It's a bit of a conundrum for me- I really want the benefits of the wall fitness but I know from experience that the best thing I could do to help me climb well on trad would be to get as much mileage as possible- on trad!

It hasn't all been plastic and plywood though. Despite the weather and being kept very busy by our wee puppy Brodie, I have managed to do a fair bit of enjoyable outdoor stuff.

Burnsie's First Ascent of the Font 6B+ at 'Fintainebleau'

In 2006, Burnsie unearthed a gem amongst the choss of the Campsie Fells- a huge sandstone boulder perched on the skyline above Fintry. We headed up and did most of the obvious easier routes on the initial '06 sortie to 'Fint'. The Southern Arete ('Fint' 5+) with its slightly unnerving highball mantle finish was the hardest of them.

However, one line resisted our efforts. The overhanging West Wall had some good holds on it, but turned out much harder than we'd imagined. After umpteen unsuccessful 'one last goes' we had to admit defeat, shouldered our pads and stomped back down to the road. We were chuffed but both knew we had unfinished business up there.

In July we perspired our way up through fields of stampeding bullocks, knee deep bogs, and squadrons of clegs to resume battle. Burnsie summitted first, using tiny crimps before making a dynamic move for a large sloping hold. I found eventual success via a highly precarious mantleshelf method that threatened to spit me off into a tumble down the hillside. Luckily I latched the jug at the top! We were both highly chuffed with the new three star Fint 6B+. For the esotericists, here's an approximate OS grid reference- NS 625 888.

Burnsie on the finely positioned 2nd pitch of Ardgartan Arete (VS)

I had hoped to have at least a handful of Mountain routes done by this stage of the season but the Monsoon means I've managed a grand total of one- on the South Peak of the Cobbler.

Burnsie and I did our usual brutally quick, but much less scenic approach via the Rest and Be Thankful. I'd seen a Mountain forecast of pleasant, warm conditions and based on that we hoped to try Gladiator's Groove Direct (E1). Unfortunately, at 600m we entered thick claggy cloud, and by the summit baltic Easterly winds were gusting 30mph and higher. The schist was very slick and damp and the South Peak was invisible only 50 yards away. Not ideal. We sheltered, and waited for a break in the clouds hoping we'd be able to salvage something from the trip.

After lunch the cloud base lifted above the tops. Although the rock dried out, the temperatures stayed low along with the psyche levels. Gusty winds and lack of time made us reluctant to jump onto a reputedly bold E1. So, instead we racked up and got on Ardgartan Arete (VS) carrying our ruckies. The first pitch follows a very thin crack line up a slab and over a crux bulge. The crack is quite blind so it's fairly run- out. Thankfully the climbing is never desperate though, with some balancey moves to sharpen the concentration when above gear.

The guide describes two further pitches but Burnsie ended up running both of them together, which wasn't a problem and this seemed quite logical with our half ropes. Although the first pitch is probably the technical crux, the second was definitely the better pitch- following an exposed and aesthetic line near the arete itself. It was an enjoyable route and definitely worthwhile after our initial weather woes. We then scrambled over the South Peak and zipped back down to the car where the midges had a quick snack on us as we packed up. Ironically it was still and warm back in the Glen.

Burnsie setting off on Arrol's Arete (F6

The other day me, Burnsie and John Sharples visited Blantyre Towers. There are around a dozen well- bolted routes here in a quiet wooded setting next to the River Calder. The routes (from 10- 20m high) tackle the aretes and faces of the sandstone piers that are relics of the abandoned Greenhall Viaduct.

Sandstone railway walls have long been popular as training venues for climbers. This one shares the same formula of rough stone blocks featuring 2 finger pockets of varying depths and small crimps. The climbing itself is pumpy and enjoyable, if a wee bit repetitive due to the nature of the holds.

The climbing has similarities to the infamous Finnieston railway walls in Glasgow, but Blantyre has these key differences-
-it's a pleasant rural setting.
-you're  going up instead of traversing.
-there's no busy dual carriageway ten feet behind yer arse.
-you're breathing air, not exhaust fumes.
-getting arrested is unlikely.

I was happy to flash Alouette Arete (F6a- 10m), but Arrol's Arete (F6b- 18m) had me spanked fairly near the top. I'm keen to go back and try to redpoint the routes, ideally when there's a decent breeze! Unfortunately, on our visit there were clouds of Daddy Longlegs sized mosquitoes sucking the life out of us- despite using DEET repellent. Burnsie texted me to say he'd woken up like the Elephant Man with the bites he'd sustained. I thought I'd left the mossies back in Bermuda. If it's not the weather it's the insects trying to do you in here!

Expedition to the Dolerites

Just had a wee expedition to the Dolerites in the company of Jim 'Faither' Hall. It was my first time there in 5 years and it was great to be back.

For those who haven't been, Auchinstarry Quarry is close to Glasgow on the doorstep of Kilsyth. The crags surround a cute loch created by the quarrying, with fishermen dotted round the landscaped shores. At first glance it looks pretty idyllic. From the climbers' point of view the crag features 20- 25m high Dolerite buttresses with some real classic routes from Severe to around E5.

It's very popular- mainly because there aren't many good crags in the Glasgow area. Consequently, it's a bit polished and it can also be a bit sandy in the car park area.

However, the main downside to the venue is its close proximity to Kilsyth. Many Scottish small town crags are magnets for local 'wine connoisseurs' and Auchinstarry is no different. Groups of them can often be seen sampling a cheeky Chateau Buckfast (or three). Regular Auchinstarry devotees develop Zen abilities to zone out on the sound of screaming and smashing bottles. The worst case scenario is if they start throwing objects down the routes- but luckily that's not the norm. It's all a bit like the pub in Star Wars, but the creatures are uglier and they wear tracksuits.

Jim Hall on Spirogyra (VS)

One reason I really like the place is that Spirogyra (VS) was one of my very first leads back in the early '90s. At that time I was desperate to get into lead climbing so I killed two birds with one stone and bought my mate Danny a rack of 8 wires for his birthday. It was a very expensive present but it wasn't really that altruistic- I couldn't afford to buy gear for myself and get him a present. I felt a bit ashamed, but quickly swallowed my guilt and 'borrowed' the wires almost as soon as the gift wrap was off. I led Spirogyra with the 8 wires and 5 screwgates. I remember tackling the crux and finding it quite tricky. Despite carrying a rack that could sink the Titanic it still felt nippy 20 years later.

During the afternoon Jim dispatched the popular routes Slinky Lizard (HS) and Trundle (VS) in good style despite wearing the cheapest, nastiest Decathlon kippers money can buy. 

Leading Walk on the Wild Side (HVS) photo by Jim Hall

Last route of the day was a return for me to the route Walk on the Wild Side (HVS). It's quite a bold slab climb on crimpy edges and I think it's one of the best routes of its grade anywhere.

It has a justified reputation for seriousness. The start is very bold, with the first tiny micro wire placements appearing around the 7-8m mark. The gear improves as you gain height but it's still a route that requires a cool head. All your weight is on your feet, on tiny edges throughout, and if you tense up it's easy for your calf muscles to cramp up and Elvis to enter the building (and stay there!).

I've led it a handful of times and it never feels trivial, even when I'm going well. On this occasion I felt pretty good and moved as quickly as I could between gear placements. However, on this ascent I was wearing very soft smeary shoes. I hit the jugs at the top with my feet in agony while my arms were completely unpumped...

A check of the watch while coiling the ropes up top revealed it was half past beer o'clock, so we decamped to the Kirky Puffer for a nice pint of real ale. A great wee re-union with the Dolerites!

Avoiding Elvis at Glen Nevis

Cavalry Crack Buttress, with Dundee Buttress to its left and Secretaries' Buttress above.

Just back from my first trad climbing trip for years. The last time I climbed a Summer pitch sticking 'they metal hings' in the rock must have been way back in 2008. My mate Andy texted me to say he had obtained a Gold Pass (freedom for an over-nighter) for the June bank holiday weekend. He hadn't been out climbing much recently and his liberation coincided with a good forecast- game on!

The original plan was to go over to Garbh Bheinn and try to get on a few of the classics. However, eagle- eyed Andy noticed that MWIS were forecasting 3 degrees C at 900m, with Northerly winds. The idea of multi-pitch mountain routes started looking a bit masochistic. After some thought we realised both of us hadn't been to Glen Nevis in ages. 10- 15mph winds were forecast, so maybe the midges wouldn't be too bad?

Andy picked me up on Saturday evening driving a courtesy car- a wee Hyundai i10 automatic. Awesome. You can barely get a handbag in the boot of these cars so the seats had to go down to accept our kit laden sacs, tent and midgy repellent. It felt like a pedal car as we buzzed up the A82 and brought back memories of early 90's trips in various tin box Fiat Pandas (the ultimate snow driving car). We arrived outside the Kingshouse Hotel in Glencoe and managed to secure one of the last tent spaces near the road. Tent up quick, we proceeded straight to the busy Climbers' Bar to partake in a few ales and some chat with a couple of lads from Yorkshire who were planning to go up Ben Nevis.

Andy at the top of Secretaries' Direct (S

Next morning the 7am alarm felt like a lie in according to Andy (he has 2 young kids). The sun was out and the Buachaille looked superb, as ever.

I was delighted to feel totally fresh after sticking to a self- imposed 3 pint rule the night before. We got to Fort William only to find that Morrisons didn't open until 9am so we were forced to traipse over to McDonalds. It was my first visit to the ginger- permed population poisoner's emporium in donkey's years, and I really hope it will be my last 'unhappy meal'. I don't need any help getting super- sized, thanks Ron.

 Driving up the Glen, hordes of aspirant Ben summiteers were heading for Tourist Track. We snaked our way up the road and got the last parking spot below Cavalry Crack Buttress.
With both of us being rusty we agreed the best idea would be to get plenty of confidence building mileage as opposed to difficulty on this trip.

Second pitch of Vampire (HS)

First up was Vampire (HS)- a weaving three pitch route on Cavalry Crack Buttress.

The start of the first pitch took a wee bit of finding, and we nearly made the mistake a few folk have done (according to UKC)  in climbing a bold looking direct variation at E1.

After orientating ourselves to the correct start the true first pitch turned out to be a bit scrappy, but suitably amenable for our purposes.

The second pitch is a cracker, with an open book corner widening out into a slanting wall climb, parallel to Storm below.

Next were a couple of single pitch routes on the neighbouring Dundee Buttress. The first one we did was Promises (HS). It was Andy's lead and turned out a great wee route.

Breaking my own intention to stick to easier climbs I was tempted into trying Dundee Weaver (HVS). It looked straightforward from below (don't they all?) but the book warned it had a tricky crux moving into a crack at the top.

Sure enough, the hard moves took a bit of thought and effort to overcome. Unfortunately, during my lead the wind dropped and Andy was forced to stick the midgy hood on while I spent a few minutes getting sorted before going for the top out.

Secretaries' Direct Route (S)

The last and best route of the day was Secretaries Direct (S)-  a superb slab climb positioned high above the glen.

The rock quality on this route is impeccable. It must be one of the best Severes in Scotland?

What an enjoyable route. The starting move into the first corner is the nippiest of them all, then it's just brilliant steady climbing above. We did it in two long pitches rather than the 3 in the book which was fine with half ropes.

I reckon that was my first trip to the Glen this century. It's quite a scary thought to realise it's been over 12 years....

It was a great day out, all objectives were achieved. Got plenty of mileage (7 pitches), stuck bits of gear in and Elvis didn't enter the building once!